Hello all of you wonderful people! The CGE team has been in the middle of our busiest time of year, celebrating our very own bride-to-be (yours truly) and preparing for all of our upcoming weddings with our amazing couples.
As a bride to be, I wanted to talk about a topic that is somewhat taboo for some people to talk about when going through the wedding planning process - selecting your bridal party.
Disclaimer: I will be referencing bridesmaids throughout this post, as this was my personal experience...BUT this post applies to all the brides and grooms out there.
When you are selecting who will be apart of your bridal party - maid of honor, bridesmaids, best man, and groomsmen there is a common misconception that the people you ask to stand next to you on your big day needs to be “your oldest friends” or “your sibling should be the maid of honor, it’s the right thing to do”, and “only girls can be bridesmaids and only boys can be groomsmen”. Now, I fell into this trap at the beginning of my wedding planning process and quickly learned the people you ask to be a part of your bridal party only need to meet three criteria: that they will show up both physically and emotionally for YOU, that they will emotionally support you through the highs and lows of this process, and that they will do what needs to be done to make sure you have the best wedding day possible.
I asked my little sister to be my maid of honor, mostly because I thought it was the right and expected thing to do. So when she told me “No thanks, I’m okay just being a bridesmaid”, I was taken aback for a moment but then I thanked her for being honest and got to ask my two best friends to fulfill the position of maid of honor(s). That’s right - I have two maid of honor’s, this may not make sense to anyone else but to me it was the perfect decision and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
When selecting my bridesmaids I was asked if I would be having my cousin as a bridesmaid that I hardly see anymore, or if I would be asking some of my childhood friends that again, we not only don’t hang out anymore but we have grown into different people. I panicked for a moment, thinking - who are the “right” people to ask to stand by my side as bridesmaids. The answer quickly became clear when I started to think about who has been there to support me, help me, understand me, and laugh with me through everything leading up to this moment. I thought of the amazing people who I may have only known for a few years but had been there for me emotionally and physically time and time again. The ones who always showed up when they said they would and never expected anything in return. The ones who have supported my relationship and all of it’s ups and downs and have always been a shoulder to lean on when I needed it most. All of these things are what you should be looking for in your bridesmaids, groomsmen, maid of honor(s) and best man. Time does not define a friendship, nor does it give one friendship more importance over another. In the end, some of my bridesmaids have been my friend for over ten years while the others I may have only met two years ago, and one in particular is my oldest friend who happens to be a guy; and I wouldn’t change any of it or them for the world.